In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Asaalamalaikum(Peace be on you),
How have you been doing? Good, I hope.
If you’ve somehow noticed, there isn’t an exclamation mark in the title.
Yes, this isn’t a usual post.
So, I think of writing the weekly post and impulsively scrolled through my camera feed for the same and just when I draft the post, an older post popped as a suggestion on my right, I happened to read it and like an alarm clock, it woke me up.
What have I been doing?
Since the past few posts, all that I have been posting is a string of pictures with scattered captions in between. My older posts had substance over content.
I told myself to stop, and think.
Why on earth was I getting on a loop and streamlining posts, when my tagline and basic idea for this blog since the beginning had been ‘Everything & Anything’?
I had been bubbling with ideas and array of topics to write about during exams, then why was I doing this?
So, here I am.
With this conversation that I had with my self in my head, because why not.
I think and realization dawns on me that there are two reasons for my creative repression, first of all I miss my room.
Alhamdulillah, since the past year I have had a little space that I call as my room, even though you couldn’t do yoga in it if you wanted to, no matter the size it’s my space where I can think freely.
‘Can’t you think in the living room or dining room?’ you may rebuttal but just having a space you designed for yourself, helps create an environment which inspires you and constantly motivates you.
Secondly, this may seem very odd and given my earlier post (Click here to know what I am talking about), the major reason for this is the absence of my daily auto ride.
‘Wait, what?’ you may frown contorting your brows.
Yes, I did whine earlier about the appalling polluted air , loud honking horns and deep pothole dives on commuting anywhere in India.
But, undoubtedly, the two hours of my travel back and forth daily though slightly troublesome physically and only initially, were the most blissful “me” time I gave myself.
My mind would go on its own ramble, like I would have this intellectual and deep conversations with my self where, thoughts would formulate, opinions made stronger and ideas would spring which I would instantly make a note of and go back home and put them through in words.
This isn’t something that happened recently, even during the first year of college, when things weren’t great, and my commute extremely long, I would distribute my time then, on the noisier side of the route I would pop my ear plugs in and listen to podcasts and then ramble in my head in the other half.
And having auto mates who kept to themselves was actually a blessing in this respect, honestly, when I’d realize that someone talkative is going to be on the commute, I would internally groan, not because I am rude or asocial, but just because after a full day at college of conversations, I just needed some time off.
I don’t even know how but it just help me put things in perspective and gather my thoughts.
My mind would be at a slight ease since I had a fixed auto driver (even so you must always BE ALERT especially when you are travelling alone). I would just look at everything passing by, imagine where someone was heading, trying my very best in comprehending the very least of their story or just simply putting words to my thoughts.
Even during exams, in the morning, while my auto mates and every other student on any vehicle during the exam season would be clutching on to notes and constantly reading through them, I would simply hold my notes for the sake of it, and still do my thinking, sometimes, during a tough one I would revise internally in my head, but never bore my head in notes and miss the beauty of daily life happening on its own accord, if that even made sense.
It might sound bizarre and you might not even care.
But, I guess we all have something crazy which keeps us sane.
And maybe this isn’t all that keeps me sane, there is a whole lot.
For now, this is it.
I can’t even tell you how good just simply writing my mind has made me felt.
If you didn’t give up on me midway, thinking ‘What did she even write!’, a big thank you for sticking through!
Also, if you missed out on the food talk, and you are on Instagram, then go follow me on Instagram @misfitnarrator.
I hope you have an amazing week ahead!
Until Next Time!